Forever & Always (Always & Forever Book 2) Read online

  I can’t even hear the name of the first opponent but he looks terrifying. He’s absolutely huge and is covered in tattoos, entering the ring without even acknowledging the hundreds of people before him.

  I can scarcely breathe as I wait to see who comes out next. I don’t know whether I should close my eyes or keep them wide open, mentally preparing myself for what I’m about to witness.

  “Ladies and gentleman, please put your hands together for our very own undefeated champion… this is his forty-fifth fight tonight and that deserves some recognition. Make some noise for our victorious, unrivalled and unbeaten title-holder… Jake!”

  I take a deep breath before I look up, struggling to find the strength to keep on standing as I watch the man I love make his entrance. He is shirtless and untouchable with an unreadable expression on his face.

  There’s no emotion as he makes his way inside the ring, appearing detached and unconcerned as he also chooses to ignore the uncontrollable crowd. I’m astonished by the fact that they’re screaming his name and applauding him for simply being there. It’s crazy how much exhilaration and excitement his presence brings them and I finally realise how different our lives were before we met.

  This is Jake’s world and mine was spent at home with my monstrous father. Jake has always been adored, revered and respected while I was ignored and the acknowledgement of this hardens my heart. I narrow my eyes at him in contempt, projecting all of my rage, jealousy, resentment and anger onto the man who has been lying to me for months.

  Jake shakes hand with his opponent before they each make their way into the opposite corner from one another. There’s a countdown which the rest of the spectators take part in and then the fight begins.

  Being a novice to the world of bare-knuckle fighting, I have no idea what to expect and neither does Carla. I recognise the same fear on her face as she watches her brother, fearful when it comes to his safety as well as the man he is about to destroy.

  I remember Jake telling me that he had never lost a fight and I’m also still haunted by the memories of him beating the man who tried to rape me several months ago. I’m frequently tormented by nightmares where I’m forced to relive that night and everything which happened. I still see Jake on top of him, pummelling his fists against his face until my attacker was nothing but a bloody mess, unrecognisable and disfigured.

  It’s this side of Jake which I fear and it’s also the side I’m about to witness once more…

  Jake’s rival strides towards him with a grim and determined scowl on his face. He swings back his right fist, intent on smashing it against Jake’s left cheekbone when Jake makes a sudden duck and swings around, striking his opponent instead.

  I gasp as he tumbles to the floor, cradling his shattered nose with his hand. Jake stands over him, clenching his fists in preparation for his next strike. His adversary pulls himself onto his feet, taking a few seconds to catch his breath.

  Jake turns his back on him, granting him a much needed moment to recuperate. His courteous gesture seems to reward him even more favour from the audience and it’s while Jake’s back is turned that his opponent chooses to attack him, using his fist to smash Jake over the head.

  The crowd goes berserk at the cowardly blow and I look away, incapable of watching Jake being hurt. Carla struggles to control her rage, screaming alongside the others who are indignant and furious by such a deceitful move.

  It goes on and on and on… an endless and nonsensical battle between the two men as they try and defeat one another. The violence is beyond anything I have ever experienced and I didn’t even think that was possible. The longer the fight goes on, the more ferocious it becomes and I find myself incapable when it comes to observing such brutality.

  “Carla, I need to get out of here. I can’t take this!” I yell, fighting against the fear which is starting to consume me.

  “I agree with you!” She replies, turning away from the fight so she can face me. “Come on, let’s go.”

  We hold onto one another as we frantically try to make our way out of such a savage and sickening place. The throngs of people refuse to budge or step aside as we scramble towards the exit. The harder we push forward, the more futile it seems and we somehow end up being shoved backwards, unable to free ourselves from the claustrophobic army of people.

  “What are we going to do?” I cry, squeezing onto her tightly. “It’s impossible to get out!”

  “Maybe we should try and make our way towards the front? That way there’s a chance that Jake will see us and help.” She suggests, desperate to find a way out of here.

  “We can’t risk it! We could easily be crushed and we can’t distract Jake from his fight.” I tell her, knowing that he needs to remain focused and the sight of us being here would be enough to divert him.

  All I want to do right now is get the hell out of here and forget I ever saw any of this monstrous display. It sickens me to my stomach that there are individuals such as this who actually enjoy watching two human beings try to destroy the other.

  “It’s our only chance!”

  Carla surges forward, dragging me with her as she weaves her way amongst the onlookers and spectators. I know I can’t allow us to be separated and cling onto her hand for dear life, praying that her plan to capture Jake’s attention won’t backfire.

  I don’t know how we managed it but we eventually near the front of the crowd, avoiding the angry glares and crude insults which are thrown at us every time we push in front of someone. The people we’re mixing with are not what you would call friendly and I’m terrified one of them will attack us or lose their temper when they see what we’re trying to do.

  “Jake!” Carla screams, waving her hands in the air.

  Her attempt at getting him to notice is futile because her voice is drowned out by the deafening cheers. Everyone is changing Jake’s name and Carla’s aim proves to be ineffectual and pointless.

  I don’t know what causes Jake to look up at that exact moment but he does. His mouth falls open in astonishment as his whole body freezes. His sly competitor takes his chance and slams his formidable fist against the side of Jake’s face, causing him to fall to the ground with an almighty crash.

  This inspires even more outrage from the ferocious observers, vocalising their indignation and disapproval by increasing their volume. It’s pandemonium as the entire auditorium is united by their uproar, making it even more difficult and impossible for me to keep my eyes on Jake.

  “Oh, God. He’s really hurt!” Carla wails, covering her face with her hands.

  I refuse to shut my own, transfixed on the sight which is before me. Jake eventually pulls himself back onto his feet, striking a murderously violent blow to his opponent.

  It’s enough to knock him out completely and he lies there, absolutely still. He’s clearly unconscious and this is enough to declare Jake as the winner. The announcer who spoke earlier attempts to raise Jake first which is now torn apart and bleeding but Jake refuses, striding across the expansive ring so he can get out of there.

  I watch him as he ignores the glamourous girls who are waiting to congratulate him as well as the multitude of men who want to shake his hand and spend time in his presence. He looks absolutely furious as he shoves them all aside and heads straight towards me, clenching his injured fists as he glowers at me in contempt.

  “What the fuck are you doing here?” He snarls, grabbing hold of my arm so he can shake me roughly.

  “Jake, leave her alone. It was my idea to come here.” Carla interjects, trying to reason with her known to her brother.

  “You shouldn’t be here either.” He growls deeply, dragging her towards him so he can keep her close. “I’m getting the two of you out of here right now. Follow me.”

  We struggle to keep up with him as he places a protective arm around us both, manoeuvring his way through the swarms of people who are now watching our every move.

  I can’t believe this night ended up like this and I start t
o wonder if my new life with Jake will ever start to settle down and run smoothly. I’ve been faced with countless experiences such as this since moving in with Jake and I won’t lie to myself by saying that none of it has affected me so far. I’m utterly exhausted and fear that my fragile state of mind will not be able to take much more of this fraught and explosive relationship I have now become accustomed to.

  The consequences of what Carla and I did tonight are still unknown, just like my unspoken thoughts about everything which has taken place over the past couple of months. My suppressed and unresolved feelings are far too powerful for me to contain and I instinctively know that I need to be honest with Jake tonight.

  The truth has to come out before it’s too late… before I lose him forever.

  Chapter Two

  Jake insists that Carla and I stick by him, refusing to let either one of us out of his sight. He’s still wearing the black shorts he had on for the fight and marches the two of us to his own private room which is out the way of public view.

  It’s extremely basic and run down, reminding me that we are still trapped inside a dilapidated warehouse in the very worst part of town.

  “Carla, I need to get changed and I want to speak to Bethany alone for a few minutes. Will you be ok in here?” Jake asks, opening another door which reveals another room next door. “I promise I’ll be right here and I’ll call you back in a second.”

  “Is that ok with you?” Carla enquires gently, placing her hand on my arm.

  “It’s fine. I’ll be alright.” I assure her, smiling weakly.

  She slips through the door which Jake is holding open for her and leaves us alone together. Neither one of us says anything, far too stubborn and headstrong to give into the other person’s silence.

  “What the fuck are you doing here?” He growls, whirling around to face me.

  He looks beyond furious, struggling to control himself or his ferocious temper.

  “Don’t speak to me like that, Jake.” I reprimand him firmly, folding my arms across my head in an act of defiance.

  “Don’t avoid the question!” He yells, raising his voice at me. “What are you doing here and how the hell did you even find out about this place?”

  “Carla told me.” I answer curtly, not wanting to get Carla into any trouble.

  “And how did she find out?”

  “Through some old friend of yours. He told her about the fights because she was worried about you and I needed to find out where you were going every single night when you sneak out.”

  “You… you knew about that?” He murmurs, staring at me in disbelief.

  “Of course I knew!” I exclaim loudly, turning my back on him in anger. “I had to find out what was going on and now I know.”

  “Finding out the truth doesn’t give you the right to come here! You don’t know how dangerous these places are, anything could have happened to you, Bethany.”

  “I didn’t want to come here but Carla thought it was our only option. She wanted you to notice us in the crowd and thought it would be enough to stop you from fighting again.”

  Jake sighs deeply, forcing me to turn around and face him.

  “It’s the middle of the fucking night, neither one of you should be here.” He whispers, lowering his gaze to meet with mine. “God, when I think about what might have happened to you if I hadn’t recognised you out there.”

  “I can’t believe you did see me.” I mumble quietly, keeping my eyes focused on the floor beneath my feet. “There were hundreds of people out there tonight.”

  “Yeah, this fight was a pretty big deal and a lot of money was riding on it.” Jake clarifies, raking his fingers through his short brown hair. “That’s the reason for such a big turn out.”

  “Jake, how long have you been doing this? How long have you been lying to me?”

  I dread hearing his answer but also realise that I need to know how long this deceit has been going on for.

  “Bethany, I never stopped.” He mumbles softly, sounding ashamed and weary. “I never even quit.”

  It takes me a few moments to digest this new piece of information, remembering the nights I would wake up and find him gone. I somehow managed to convince myself that Jake was seeing someone else, sneaking out in the middle of the night to be with her. The possibility of such a thing has drove me insane for months. It’s been tormenting me for so long, I don’t even know how to think about anything else anymore. I’ve been consumed by the devastating thought of Jake being intimately involved with another woman and now I find out that the agonising hours which I’ve spent in torment was pointless. The suffering I’ve endured has been meaningless and I don’t know whether I want to slap Jake or embrace him, equally torn by my conflicting feelings for him.

  “But why? Why do you continue to do this when you know how I feel about it?” I ask him, demanding to find out the truth behind his reasons for still fighting.

  “This is who I am, don’t you get that? I’ve always been a fighter and this is the one place on earth that I can be exactly that and not have to apologise for it. I don’t give a shit about the recognition or the popularity it brings me. All I care about is the money it makes us and the sanity it brings me.”

  “Violence brings you sanity?” I ridicule him with scorn, incapable of understanding such a statement.

  “Yes!” He declares boldly, placing his hands on my shoulders. “It’s the only thing that does.”

  “That doesn’t even make any sense.”

  “I don’t expect you to understand it, Bethany.”

  His hands let go of me in defeat and his shoulders slump. His demeanour is completely different to the image he portrayed of himself during the fight. Out there he looked so powerful and strong. He was an Adonis who demanded respect and fear, a complete contrast to the man I’m faced with right now.

  “Help me to understand.” I beg him, taking hold of his hand in mine. “Help me to understand you.”

  His eyes are full of hope as they meet my own, unveiling light on something which has been in the darkness for so long.

  “I don’t even know how. I don’t know how to describe it.”

  “Is it because of what happened?” I enquire hesitantly.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean the night I was almost… almost raped.”

  Jake inhales sharply, struggling to conceal his rage at the mention of what nearly happened to me several months ago.

  “Bethany…” He warns me, shaking his head in disbelief.

  Neither one of us has mentioned it in months, deciding to put the past behind us and not mention the attack which was made on me that night. Jake completely annihilated his old bedroom at his mum’s house the last time we spoke about it and I swore to myself that I would do everything in my power to keep him from being afflicted by such fury again.

  “Jake, I know you don’t want us to talk about this but if it’s still the reason behind your aggression then we need to discuss it.”

  “It’s not the only reason! But I’m not going to feel guilty about the fact that I imagine that sick bastard’s face every time I step into the ring.”

  “Don’t you see how unhealthy that is?” I question him, desperate to get through to him. “You have to let go of the past and that means you have to forget him.”

  “How can I forget it when I know he put his hands on you?” Jake challenges me harshly. “He assaulted you and you expect me to just ignore that?”

  “I don’t expect you to ignore it, Jake. You already beat him until he was unconscious, what more do you want?”

  “I want him dead.” He growls, sounding dangerous.

  “Don’t say that, Jake. Please don’t say that.”

  “I want him on a fucking slab and I’m not afraid to say it.”

  I exhale slowly, wondering how on earth I’m supposed to respond to such a cold-hearted statement.

  “There’s more to this… you’re not being honest with me.”

&
nbsp; “Just drop it, Bethany.” He warns me again, pacing back and forth in agitation.

  “What are you hiding?” I persist, relentless in my quest to find out the truth.

  “I’m not hiding anything!”

  “Just tell me!”

  “Believe me, you don’t want to know.”

  “I do if you’re keeping something from me.”

  “I’m trying to find him, ok?! I’ve been searching for that son of a bitch for months and I won’t stop until I find him.”

  I stare at him in astonishment, struggling to process what he just said to me.

  “You’re not serious.” I whisper incredulously, shaking my head in disbelief.

  “I’m deadly serious.” He replies calmly, watching me closely.

  “And how exactly do you plan on finding him?”

  “I have every guy I know out there looking for him, it won’t take us too long.”

  “Are you telling me that other people know about this?” I ask, feeling humiliated and mortified.

  “It’s the only way I could get them all on side.” Jake explains, coming to a standstill in front of me. “None of the men who come to watch my fights want that pervert on the loose. He’s dangerous and he has to be stopped.”

  “You did stop him, Jake. You nearly killed him and I watched you when you did it the memory still haunts me and I can’t believe you actually want to put me through that again.”

  “I don’t care what you say, Bethany. I should never have listened to you that night when you convinced me to walk away.”

  “Jake, this is madness.”

  “Maybe I am mad.” He groans, cradling his head in his hands. “This might be what insanity feels like.”

  I close my eyes and take a deep breath, mentally preparing myself for what I’m about to say.